Over the past few weeks, the topic of goals and motivation have been the mainstay of a lot of my conversations. These are topics that have been kicked around for about as long as humans have been trying to make anything more complicated than pointy sticks. Yet despite our fascination with accomplishment, it is still a somewhat murky topic. The tried and true method of ‘just doing the work’ doesn’t have quite the same shine here in the era of manifesting, as it once did. So, with that in mind, I thought I would highlight a few items that are worth considering when trying to make any kind of goal. This approach sadly does demand one changes, grows, and does some work. It however, does seem to create consistent results.

A) The overarching goal/aim.

B) What behaviours actually support the goal being accomplished.

C) What will you give up/change/sacrifice to accomplish the aforementioned?

D) Sleep.

 

To start off, try and limit the number of goals to one. It should be simple yet specific. Give it a deadline, and some ways to measure it. Write it down. Once you have done all of that, expand your timeline to accomplish it by about half. After that, look at the goal, and write down why you want it.*

Example: I want to reduce my body fat percentage from 13% to 10% in three four and a half months… because I want to ensure I am moving towards greater fitness, not greater fatness.

 

The second item is crucial. This is where one determines the behaviours that actually result in the overarching goal being accomplished. It turns out, that while manifesting wishing and hoping is a great thing to do with your time, it is not actually the best route to accomplishing anything. If I want to reduce my body fat percentage, getting up every morning and saying so will accomplish nothing. However, I can pick some actions that can get a tick box beside them each day. This means I actually do some real life work to make the goal happen. Each day. That’s what really drives the progress towards the overarching goal. These are the items that can be referred to as behavioural goals, and they are the ones that are crucial to actually doing anything.

Example: Exercise for one hour a day. Get 10,000 steps each day. Eat less than 100g of carbs each day.

 

The last two items are often not talked about. However, hours in a day are finite. One can not simply insert more activities in a schedule without consequence. Far better to determine what one will give up when setting the goals, than being surprised when things aren’t getting done. Everything costs something. However, while everyone seems tempted to insert more things into the day and just sleep a little less, this is a dumb idea. All ventures eventually fail if we don’t sleep. Ignore the pundits who claim otherwise.

Example: I will give up reading for an hour on my couch in the morning to get my workout in.

 

The goal here is to try and reduce complexity, while giving greater clarity to how one tries to accomplish a goal. Too often the whispers of western culture convince us that we can and should do everything at once. Rather than one having one clear goal, we find ourselves pulled in a thousand directions at once. Furthering this by refusing to acknowledge that we will have to sacrifice something to reach those goals will just make things worse. Time has to come from somewhere, be that work, our relationships, or our time we spend on our own projects. Trying to accomplish something without giving something else up, will simply further a frantic pace that just results in more stress.

This morning, while mulling on how to write this article, a friend sent over a somewhat self reflective piece by the Guiness World Record holder for most consecutive 50k ultras done by a woman. She accomplished 200 days of 50k runs (perhaps actual races, I am not sure). It follows the injuries she suffered the next year, her struggles with them, and the depression she ended up throwing herself into. It is a nice article. However, for me what stood out was her comment about her kids heading off to their dad’s place during her injuries. While I don’t know the specifics, it is not overly surprising to me that someone who accomplished something so magnificent was divorced (or perhaps ended up there). Having sacrificed so many of my own relationships over the years at the alter to my obsessions, I am well acquainted with the weight of some costs only realized after the fact. Perhaps this is why, I encourage people to ask why you want what you do, and what you will pay for it. I am not sure whether the cost of greatness is always worth it. The cost of mediocrity certainly isn’t.

 

*Note about asking why more than once:

If you want to determine whether a goal is useful, or really give the goal some weight: ask why you are doing it three times. First to why you want it. Then ask why you want the underlying item. Then ask why you want the item underlying the underlying item. At this point, you might have run into a truth that is less comfortable, but it will certainly help illuminate things. If you really want to get uncomfortable, keep asking why. Eventually this exercise always results in me staring at some deep held insecurity. I think this is universal. It is a good reminder that we are all human, we are all scared of not being enough, and we all want to be loved and accepted. So you know, rather than wallowing at the bottom of the third why, it is just good to be reminded that all our goals are usually foolish pathologies that are unlikely to feed the actual needs we have. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make goals, but we should be honest about the why of it.

Example: Because I want to move the trend of overall body composition in a direction that supports better health… because I don’t like how I look and feel when I am more fat… because a lot of my self worth and ideas about myself in the world are tied to my body image… because I am ultimately worried that I will be wanted and loved less if I am not fit.